Islamic Preparation for Intercourse
By; Ibrahim Hassan Gagaale,(KON) - IntroductionTeaching or learning Islamic Sexual Relations is an important integral part of Islam. As Muslims are required to practice chastity (practicing only lawful marital relations) during their life and avoid all sinful sexual acts, they must learn Islamic laws that govern Islamic Sexual Relations which are widely explained in The Noble Qur'an of Allah (S.W.T) and inThe Sunnah of the Prophet (S.A.W) that consist of deeds and sayings of The Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W)]. Without learning Islamic Sexual.
Relations, Muslims are at risk of falling to sinful sexual acts.Some people believe that teaching, learning, or discussing Islamic Sexual Relations is taboo (something unacceptable culturally). Teaching,learning, or discussing Islamic Sexual Relations in The Noble Qur'an and in The Sunnah is not taboo, it is ignorance. It is an obligation on all adult Muslims, for being Allah's command, to learn Islamic Sexual Relations to know and understand that lawful sexual relations lead one to good, healthy life in this world, and to Paradise on The Day ofJudgment while sinful sexual relations lead one to unfavorable consequences in this world and to Hellfire on The Day of Judgment. Allah ( Most High, Glorious is He) says: "And do not approach unlawfu sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way." [Surat Israa, Verse: 32].
Allah (Most High, Glorious is He) also says: "..... the men and the women who guard their chastity (from illegal sexual acts) and the men and the women who remember Allah much with their hearts and tongues Allah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward." [Surat Ahzab, Verse: 35]. Allah (Most High, Glorious is He) says: "And those who invoke not an other ilah (god) along with Allah, nor kill such life as Allah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse, and whoever does this shall receive the punishment." [Surat Al-Furqan, Verse: 68]. Narrated Sahl Bin Sa`d (R.C): Allah's Messenger (S.A.W) said:"Whoever can guarantee (the chastity of) what is between his two jawbones and what is between his two legs (i.e. his tongue and his private parts), I guarantee Paradise for him." [Source of Hadith: Sahih Al-Bukhari].
Abdullah Bin Mas'ud (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (S.A.W) used to say:"O Allah! I ask You for guidance, piety (righteousness), chastity, and self- sufficiency)" [Source of Hadith: SahihMuslim) On the days of Prophet Musa (Peace be upon him), the people of Israel, for whom he was sent to for saving them from the barbarity and slavery of King Pharaoh, chose parts of Torah (Musa's Scripture [Kitab]) oveother parts to conform The Torah to their wishes. Unlike Jews and Christians, Muslims are committed to the practice of the whole Qur'an and Sunnah, and do not choose some part of The Qur'an or Sunnah over another part. But those who have enough Islamic knowledge for teaching or holding Islamic conferences and then decline or dislike to discuss Islamic Sexual Relations for the purpose of remaining chaste in life and avoiding sexual sin are picking and choosing in Islam. They choose parts of The Noble Qur'an and Sunnah over others, and the following Qur'anic Verse warns them of that:Allah (Most High, Glorious is He) says: "So do you believe in part of the Scripture (Qur'an) and disbelieve in part? [Surat Al-Baqarah, Verse: 85]. So, Muslims learn, teach, and discuss Islamic Sexual Relations to understand what is lawful from what is sinful as well as other teachings of Islam such as Salat, Charity, Hajj etc. Islamic Scholars who are shy of talking or teaching people about Islamic Sexual Relations are weak and fail to convey the Islamic Message and Mission assigned to them (The Qur'an and Sunnah) to the people at a time when so many young Muslims face today a barrage of sinful sexual encounters and lewdness on TV, Magazines, Youtube etc in the Western World.
Such weak Islamic Scholars, who are shy of advising Musl ms against illegal sexual acts and encouraging them to be chaste in life and practice only lawful marital sexual acts, are literally ignoring the message indicated in the following Qur'anic Verse: Allah (Most High, Glorious is He) says: "You are the best nation produced (as an example) for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah. If only the People of the Scripture had believed, it would have been better for them. Among them are believers, but most of them are defiantly disobedient." [Surat Aala-Imran, Verse: 110].Abu Huraira (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Allah's Messenger (S.A.W) said: "A strong believer is better and is more lovable to Allah than a weak believer."[Source of Hadith: Sahih Muslim].
Islamic Preparations for Intercourse As good marital relations (sexual relations) are very important for maintaining successful marriage, both spouses (husband and wife) are expected to give it the consideration that it deserves during their marital life. The husband and wife should prepare themselves physically and psychologically before engaging in any sexual foreplay or intercourse in order to have satisfactory and pleasant intercourse. This is extremely important to keep in mind whenever the couple want to have intimat relationship so they can have maximum enjoyment of their union. Personal cleanliness and purity are greatly recommended for marital relations as well as for daily life of the spouses. Before engaging in any sexual intercourse, the couple should avoid anything unhygienic that affects negatively their sexual union. It is important that both husband and wife take light shower and treat their bodies with perfume, and brush their teeth prior to intercourse as stinking body and bad breath can suddenly turn off sexual desire and fail enjoyment prematurely. Perfume plays an important role in sexual activity as it's pleasant smell arouses sexual instinct and increases performance with pleasure. A wife's beatification contributes greatly to ahealthy marriage and it is especially important in the preparation for intercourse Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) narrated: The Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "It is obligatory for every Muslim that he should take a bath once in seven (7) days, when he should wash his head and body." [Source of Hadith: Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim].
The wife has to ensure that her body, mouth, armpit, and private part do not smell bad or give unpleasant odor at any time. She should take bath treat her body with perfume (or any other pleasant scent), make the bedroom clean and smell good with oonsi (Somali Uunsi), change clothes, and brush her teeth regularly so that she smells good and make her husband feel pleased and blessed with her. Wife's softness andgentleness attracts her husband towards her while hard traits, bad smell, and roughness turn off men during intercourse. A wife adorning hersel regularly to prepare herself for intercourse with her husband is very important in marriage.
A good-smelling, adorning wife owns the heart of her husband and makes him avoid the glances at other women. Similarly, the husband has to make his body and mouth clean, smell good with perfume or any other pleasant scent, take bath, change clothes, and brush his teeth regularly. He must present himself handsome and clean in front of his wife. Applying perfume was the normal practice of all Prophets of Allah.Abu Ayub (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Four (4) things arfrom the ways (traditions) of the Prophets: Modesty, applying perfume,using a tooth-stick (Siwak), and marriage.” [Source.of Hadith: Sunan At-Tirmidhi].The wife must always present herself beautiful and clean in front of her husband. The Messenger of Allah (P.B.U.H) encouraged women to adorn themselves and decorate their body to look different from men. Aisha, mother of believers, (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: A woman made a sign from behind a curtain to indicate that she had a letter for the Messenger of Allah (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him). The Prophet (P.B.U.H) closed his hand, saying: “I do not know ifthis is a man's or a woman's hand. She said: No, a woman. He said: If you were a woman, you would make a difference to your nails, meanin with henna." [Source of Hadith: Sunan Abu Dawud].
It is also important in Sunnah that the husband and wife remove nails and cut hair from their pubic part of the body and from their underarms (armpits). Women are also recommended to remove excessive hairgrowing on the cheeks or on the face (if they have it) in order not to resemble a man. Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her) narrated: The Messenger of Alla (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Ten matters are from upright natural disposition: Trimming the mustache, letting the beard grow, using the tooth stick, rinsing out the nose with water, clipping the nails, washing the joints, plucking the armpit hairs, shaving the pubic hairs, washing the private parts with water." (Mus'ab Bin Shaibah said: "I have forgotten the tenth, but it may have been rinsing out the mouth." [Source of Hadith: Sunan Ibn Majah, Sunan An-Nasa'i, and Sunan At-Tirmidhi].
The mutual love between the spouses creates marital foundation that is strong and unshakeable and protected from the dangers of separation or divorce. The good husband always shows love, affection, respect, and kindness to his wife. A good treatment toward his wife is important even in the psychological preparation for sexual intercourse. He should use kind words with affection and love to her while they are in the bed.
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